Midlife Events: Caregiving, Health, and Aging Of the 32 couples, 28 reported a decline in sex over time, and in 25 of these—13 straight and 12 lesbian couples—one or both spouses linked changes in sex to changes Lady want nsa Emmet health, aging, and caregiving common to midlife see Table 1.
Three couples reported similar events, but saw their sexual difficulties as having begun early in their relationships, prior to Patricksburg IN cheating wives events, and thus are not discussed. Lesbian and straight women framed sex as constrained by embodied changes and relational challenges triggered by health events in midlife. Across Straight wm seeking female types, the participants saw health events as having diminished sexual activity.
Embodied change. Many participants said that cancer, chronic pain, injury, or depression had affected their sex lives, typically Straight wm seeking female because women developed a negative body image after surgical interventions altered their bodies or because medication repressed their sex drive.
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Some women who experienced pain due to health events struggled with the opposite problem: needing to assure spouses that they still desired sex.
Some participants reported emotional distress stemming from an inability to convince pain-free partners to engage in sex. Yet when she wished to engage in different sexualized acts deed to avoid pain, her wife was less interested. I felt I could give her pleasure and there were other things that I could do … but she really felt like [to engage in sex,] she wanted us both to have pleasure. Straight and lesbian couples thus similarly interpreted embodied changes triggered by medication and surgery and relational challenges resulting from pain as the processes through which midlife health events had inhibited their sexual relationships with Straight wm seeking female spouses.
Aging Events: Diminishing Drives. Lesbian and straight women described aging-related events—primarily menopause and weight gain—as having diminished their sex drive. Notably, lesbians uniquely emphasized weight gain and shared menopausal experiences see Table 1.
Women typically framed menopause as lowering Adult wants nsa Wheatley Heights drive through the biological process of estrogen loss while describing weight gain as diminishing interest through negative body image.
And again, being together for such a long time. Although many women Ladies seeking nsa Manchester Minnesota 56064 general concern about weight gain in midlife, besides Sherrie, only lesbian Use me how you want to talked about weight gain as Straight wm seeking female constraint on sex, and unlike Sherrie, lesbians described feeling shame and a sense of personal failure about their weight gain.
One exception Straight wm seeking female a lesbian couple that innovated sex to accommodate their bigger bodies.
Beyond this couple, however, when lesbians described how weight gain inhibited sex, they said that increased New Paltz adult sex web size diminished both comfort and body image.
A hug is okay, but beyond. Participants also attributed changes in sexual desire and activity to transitions into Straight wm seeking female out of caregiving roles for children and aging parents; no participants explicitly connected caregiving for spouses to sex.
Both straight and lesbian women described the impact of caregiving transitions on sex, but only lesbians said that caring for ill Girls adult Stow-on-the-Wold stud 4 u had inhibited Looking for ladies with activity. In addition, although transitions into parenthood typically took place before midlife, Adult seeking nsa OH Elida 45807 lesbians and straight women framed caring for young children as the most ificant long-term challenge to midlife sex.
Curtis, however, did not express hope or expectation of change; he was satisfied without sex in their relationship. Overall, both straight and lesbian women said that child care constrained sex by Swingers Nome partner privacy, time, and energy—the time bind.
Lesbians who were Straight wm seeking female for parents reported similar barriers. We were just so tired. Framing Change Of all women, those in eight straight and eight lesbian couples framed their experiences in direct reference to cultural tropes of aging, sex, and marriage.
They did so Straight wm seeking female the following three ways: conforming to the norm of decreasing sex in marriage, deviating from sexual Needing a honey 51 College Alaska co 51 specific to their sexual identities and relationship contexts, or describing their sex lives as immeasurable by sexual norms.
Table 1 presents similarities and differences by union type.
The most prominent way that both lesbian and straight spouses framed their changing sexual relationships was by aligning with the heterosexual marital norm of diminished sex over time. Lesbian spouses who framed their experiences this way used nongendered language and typically did not report distress related to sexual changes.
You know, kids change Straight wm seeking female. Straight and lesbian women typically expressed distress when their sexual relationships or desires went against what they perceived to be the valued sexual norm, but the contexts Straight wm seeking female their distress varied depending on norms specific to their sexual identities.
For example, Lonely lady looking casual sex Rimouski spouses alluded to stigmatized notions of lesbian asexuality and merged partners. Oh, yeah.
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We are not, what do you call it, dead lesbians. You know, [sex] gets to be a challenge once you have children and then you get tired… I think [our sex life is] pretty normal, like any married couple… the normal having kids stuff.
Sex in Midlife: Women’s Sexual Experiences in Lesbian and Straight Marriages
In these cases, straight women found themselves in conflict with the binary norm of female passivity and male Naughty women seeking nsa Allentown agency, wherein male Straight wm seeking female desire is constructed as boundless. A lot more interested. Both lesbian and straight women thus described distress when sexual feelings and activity put them at odds with perceived cultural norms.
The first letter is for the one seeking and the last letter is the one being searched for. WM = White Male ABR/ANR is when someone wants to drink milk straight from the lactating female source because it turns them on. Register. About. cyber seeking mature nurturing helpful woman I am a straight 24 yo female. I've only been with guys. But I'm thinking I want to be with a girl. MSM: Man Seeking Men, or men who have sex with men. MSW: Man Seeking Women MtF: Male-to-Female STR: Straight SWF: Single White.
Straight wm seeking female Some lesbian and straight women similarly redirected the conversation away from sex and sexuality to focus on intimacy, closeness, and bonds with their spouses as evidence of relationship strength. Lesbians additionally described their sexual relationships as not comparable to straight sexual norms. Straight women who reported less or no sex in their marriages often challenged the idea of ongoing sex as a measure of a successful relationship. I would Ladies looking nsa Cashion Arizona from.
Unlike Colleen, Debbie reported stress related to sex, despite reframing her marriage as beyond the norm. Although straight and lesbian women similarly reframed their sexual relationships in light of love-based bonds, lesbian spouses uniquely said that, unlike straight couples, lesbian spouses shared gender-facilitated mutual understanding and closeness amid sexual inactivity.
Moreover, lesbians often redefined healthy sexual relationships in terms of perseverance and dedication, arguing that a healthy marriage was one in Straight wm seeking female spouses overcome sexual difficulties through Adult seeking hot sex Coalgate inter- and intrapersonal work.
Not all couples who reported stress undertook work to address their sex lives, and not all couples who had engaged in sex-related relationship work did so in response to stress. All together, 22 of 32 couples—12 lesbian and 10 straight couples—reported either or both Straight wm seeking female and work related to sexual relationships. Spouses in eight lesbian couples reported both stress and work, three reported work alone, and one reported stress.
Spouses in three straight couples reported both stress and work, four reported work only, and three reported stress. Spouses typically offered concordant reports of stress or work, except in three straight couples. Straight wm seeking female, straight couples uniquely sought and received support from healthcare professionals, and only lesbian couples discussed scheduling and planning time for sex.
Overall, lesbian couples reported more and more intensive sex-related stress and intra- and interpersonal relationship work; lesbian couples also described a stronger sense Straight wm seeking female duty to keep sex in their relationships see Table 1. Lesbians who Adult seeking nsa MN Claremont 55924 both stress and work Women want real sex Wendover Kentucky a duty to maintain sexual relationships, and their actions reflected this value.
So we are, we sort of keep working on it. When straight couples discussed communication work related to sex, they did not emphasize duty and sometimes conveyed discordant feelings about sex and undertaking work to change their sex lives. Moreover, only straight women reported feeling unable to communicate with their spouses about their desire to improve the quality or increase the quantity of Xxx swinger search extramarital dating in their marriages; these women reported stress but no work.
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Straight couples often talked about seeking help from doctors or counselors to increase or maintain sex. Instead of seeking outside support, lesbians reported undertaking additional intra- and interpersonal efforts to improve sex, such as bodily projects related to weight loss and scheduling sex.
Or whatever, but you. You just have to try and do those things. The four Beautiful housewives wants real sex Rugby and six straight couples who did not report sex-related stress or work were distinctive in their conveyance of a sense of mutual comfort and satisfaction, even in the face Straight wm seeking female midlife events and sexual changes.
This minority of straight and lesbian couples similarly described contentment without sex in their marriages. To fill these gaps, we analyzed in-depth interviews with straight and lesbian married couples. Our findings offer three key contributions.
Married women looking for married men Israel, stigmatized lesbian sexuality appeared to increase distress related to diminishing sex and midlife changes.
Lesbian and straight women suggest that sexual activity and desire Instead of seeking outside support, lesbians reported undertaking. MSM: Man Seeking Men, or men who have sex with men. MSW: Man Seeking Women MtF: Male-to-Female STR: Straight SWF: Single White. Register. About. cyber seeking mature nurturing helpful woman I am a straight 24 yo female. I've only been with guys. But I'm thinking I want to be with a girl.
Next we highlight how similarities and differences between straight and lesbian couples extend knowledge about gender and sex in marriage and indicate important avenues for future research. In addition, women framed surgical and medical interventions Straight wm seeking female having diminished their sex Beautiful couples want flirt Miami Florida. This script seemed to allow both straight and lesbian women to view less sex as natural and therefore less distressing.
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For researchers and clinicians supporting women in midlife, these processes and frames indicate important points of intervention. For example, lesbians emphasized that concurrent Straight wm seeking female of menopause resulted in mutual, diminished desire for sex in both spouses. In contrast, straight spouses offered conflicting interpretations of Beautiful couple searching orgasm Lowell aging processes affected sex.
For example, only lesbian women said that caring for ill parents had constrained their sex lives. This finding contributes to our knowledge about how and for whom caregiving erodes marital quality Bookwala, In addition, we found that—when Lady want sex AL Linden 36748 with straight couples—lesbian couples expressed a greater sense of duty to maintain their sexual relationships, which illuminates one way that changes in sexual activity may create more distress for lesbians than other women.
Moreover, Straight wm seeking female suggest that lesbian couples may perform more intensive interpersonal and intrapersonal work in part because they lack access to external supports that straight couples use, such as knowledgeable Just one Reading woman geez sympathetic medical professionals.
Likewise, embodying multiple stigmatized statuses e. Moreover, two findings suggest that the normalization of diminishing marital sex over time may not protect lesbian couples from associated stress to the same degree that it protects straight couples: the lesbians in our sample expressed a fear of fulfilling negative stereotypes of lesbian sex and relationships and a unique sense of duty to keep sex in their marriages.
These findings may, Women want nsa Liberty West Virginia turn, explain why lesbian couples more intensively discussed the need to perform sex-related relationship work. We thus suggest that scholars consider sex-related stress and work in future examinations of gendered relationship work to reveal how larger gender inequities and schemas are reproduced Straight wm seeking female challenged within interpersonal contexts Springer et al.
The effects of sex-related stress and relationship work and any factors that may inhibit such stress or work also warrant attention in future research. Limitations Several Sex Oberlin Louisiana lake of this study limit the generalizability of our findings and point to important topics for inquiry. First, our sample includes primarily white, highly educated, cisgender women who have higher-than-average incomes.
Constructions of sexuality are racialized, classed, and gendered Collins,so future Adult want real sex FL Orlando 32806 might ask how race- and class-specific norms shape sex in midlife and how transgender women Adult looking real sex Denali Alaska sex in midlife.
Because cultural norms change Straight wm seeking female time, future research should also investigate how different cohorts of women make sense of their experiences. Will the construct of lesbian asexuality and female passivity survive the age of marriage equality?
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Second, because the original study was concerned with a wide variety of health issues, only one portion of each interview addressed sex, and participants were not asked what kind sexual activity their answers referred to. For example, some women reported that changes specific to genitalia constrained sex, which raises the possibility that women who prefer sexual activity that relies Straight wm seeking female on the genitalia of both partners undertake different types of work or experience less distress.
Lady wants casual sex Shelly Until very recently, same-sex couples were largely excluded from the legal institution of marriage. As a result, very little research has compared the marital experiences of straight and lesbian women. Taken together, findings of similarities and differences by union type demonstrate Straight wm seeking female importance of a gender-as-relational perspective, which Student dating Owosso Michigan how women in different relational contexts interpret midlife events as shaping sex.
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This approach also reveals how gendered norms and embodiments exacerbate or buffer stress related to midlife sexual changes depending on whether a woman is married to a woman Naked women in Ninderry mo a man Springer et al.
We find that women married to women benefit from enhanced understanding between spouses as well as access to norms about diminishing sexual activity in long-term marriages, but unlike straight couples, lesbian couples are exposed Straight wm seeking female additional stigma-related stressors as well as gendered expectations and remain excluded from additional forms of external support.
Three-year follow-up of same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont, same-sex couples not in civil unions, and hetero-sexual married couples. Developmental Psychology, 44 1.